Breakups can be quite gritty to cope with, especially when it is someone you love. Letting your lover go, with whom you have had innumerable memories, can be pretty tough. It can leave you either in a state of guilt followed by relief, or sometimes even vice versa, or a state of rejection.
There may be an ample number of reasons for initiating the course of action. But whatever it is, first and most importantly, you should be sure you want to do this. It shouldn’t be that way just because you got into a heated dispute and then decided you could no longer tolerate it and wanted to end the relationship. So, how to break up a long-term relationship? What to say to break up with someone?
And most importantly, how to break up with someone without hurting them? Let’s not sugarcoat it because there’s no way to break up without feeling the pain. The Breakup Cafe brings you ten ways to understand how to walk away from someone you love.
What should I do?
One important point to remember is to realise that you can never break up expecting your partner to come chasing you so that you can accept him back and be in the “on and off” phase you keep hearing of. Let’s face reality; you are not Ross and Rachel from “Friends”. This concept can quite be a fantasy, but in real life, the constant “on and off” can impose a heap of pain on both of you.
So, how to walk away from a relationship?
Before you move ahead with it, you need to take up some time and make sure you really want to do this. If the answer is yes, here are the ten ways to break up a relationship with someone you love.
1. Talk to your partner in person.
Be brave and talk to them in person as you must be physically present in the entire thing. This is because, there are chances of miscommunication that might further ruin the situation. You must address him/her in person to resolve any misconceptions and end the relationship respectably. Texting or emailing would make you feel off the load you have been carrying, but that relief isn’t sustainable. After all, you guys were in love, and they at least deserved to be addressed personally.
2. Be very clear about the reason.
In your mind, you have to be very clear as to why you are doing this. Be honest with them and be honest with yourself. Also, please don’t play the blame game; truthfully tell them the reason that made you arrive in this situation. Accepting your mistakes, if you have made any, wouldn’t make you small. Be bold and be frank.
3. Be Quick!
This doesn’t imply calling off your relationship with a single statement and then running away. Finish whatever you have to say and give them a chance to explain. But do it at once and don’t drudge it for a week.
4. Wondering – What do I say now? Say – What’s not working!
As we already mentioned, you must be certain of the purpose of the meeting. Once you have decided to break up, don’t step back. However, do not start with the things you love about the relationship. That would just confuse your partner. Rather tell them what’s not working and why you can’t see a future with them. You always have to project it with regard.
5. Don’t get drifted by your emotions.
There’s no denying that it can be really hard to break up with someone you love, whom you never thought of letting go, with whom you never anticipated something like this would happen. But remember that you have your own reasons and are justified by them. So don’t let your emotions come in between. Being overly emotional can increase your guilt, which is what you don’t want during this confrontation. Yes, it will be hard, but this is precisely how to walk away from someone you love.
6. Please keep it to the point.
Don’t go beating around the bush regarding the breakup. Don’t complicate it; just say it. Release all you have held within you that was not letting you breathe. Tell them how much you loved them yet how they failed to live up to your expectations; how it was always you who put in their whole heart without getting anything in return. However, always end with something positive, like “I am glad I’ve gotten to know you” or “I’m happy we shared such a beautiful time.”
7. Keep the situation under your control.
It would be best if you thought of what your partner’s response might be and his counter-statement to everything you say. It would help if you thought of all the odds and possibilities, like crying, lashing, begging, etc. This way, you can ensure that everything goes according to what you have planned and that the situation can stay under your control.
8. Don’t go overboard
The aim is simple: to be honest, to be to the point, and end it respectfully. Don’t get angry, don’t shout at them, be calm and tell them. Maintain your composure. This cannot be easy, yet the reality has to be faced. So be defiant; say it as kindly as possible. Don’t be brutal; there are hearts at stake.
9. Letting go of the love of your life – No looking back!
You have decided to break up, and you did it. There is no place for past relationships, so don’t look back. Don’t carry the burden of past baggage as you move forward. Letting go of love and moving on is the motto. Never let your past decide your future. There’s a reason why you chose this. Never forget that reason.
10. Finally, Walking away from the one you love!
After an amicable breakup with mutual agreement, it’s wise to befriend him/her. It’s no harm. You loved them once beyond everything else, and you might still respect them for who they are. Again, this friendship should be feasible only if there is room to limit interaction. If they still have feelings for you, you might unintentionally end up hurting them. It can also give them false hope.
How to walk away from someone you love is not something that can be rehearsed or that will go as planned. Breaking up with someone you love and live with is probably one of the most hardest and terrible feelings in the world. No one wants to feel that way, but sometimes, we must choose between having a better life with or without that person.