Love and lust are two both close and, on the other hand, opposite emotional states based on psychic reactions. These are two faces of human emotion. Sometimes, it is even difficult to differentiate these two notions in ordinary life—strong love can absorb lust elements, and lust can have some parts of love. All these feelings are based on the emotional bonds between two people. This emotional connection means the desire to have power on another person, on the one hand, and the desire to be a part of someone’s life, on the other. Lust and love are two emotional sisters that could have similar reactions. Anyway, what are the basic differences? And when, if this can happen, will lust mean love?
What is Love?
Firstly, love is based on three main emotional components: understanding, fidelity, and psychological sympathy. Understanding is the most powerful matrix, as, without this feeling, love can be easily converted into lust. Love means democratic relations and liberalism in dating or family life. Love is oriented toward otherness as the main mental category. For real love, it is important to have the opinion and thoughts of your partner and not just your will. When your will becomes the overwhelming principle—then love becomes lust.
READ: WHAT IS LOVE? – IS IT REALLY JUST AN EMOTION
Understanding means attentiveness and ‘emotional prudence.’ Understanding is the controlling device that helps two people to have a private sphere, to be independent, and, on the other hand, to share the intimate sphere of their partner. Without understanding, love can be like a hurricane or a volcanic eruption of emotions that can destroy people’s lives. It is the most powerful shelter for egocentric reactions. When you understand, you will never inhabit what is not yours, even if it belongs to your close person. This factor is the key moment in family life if you want to have a long, lovely, and bright family.
Secondly, fidelity is another key principle for couples who want to share the atmosphere of love. It helps to be fair and confident in your mind. Fidelity means having emotional clearance and never having any black holes in your life. A loving family atmosphere is impossible without the ability (or sic! — skill) to tell the truth, even when it can reveal something unpleasant. It helps to build strong psychological relations between people to live in peace and understanding for many years.
Most families experience crucial moments when family life tends to be like a game. Find the truth when it has so many secrets and skeletons in the wardrobe, when family partners have their very private sectors, and they never tell each other about this. In this way, a family can be practically destroyed because private life occupies all the territory in your mind. In some years, love becomes an atavistic feeling from the past life that can never be renewed.
Third, psychological sympathy means similarity between two people in their views, lifestyle, and life experience. On the other hand, sometimes two different people can have a wonderful family life together. This situation demonstrates the rule when minus-atoms catch plus-atoms to create harmony. Harmony is the practical result of this psychological sympathy, as it means a lack of any form of aggression, intolerance, or unfairness. According to the Indian myths, each person born on the earth has his or her own second part.
The Bible shows that Eva was born from Adam’s body. In this way, psychological sympathy is the key to creating a strong and happy family. On the one hand, people have sympathy and close views that they love each other—but the result is family breaking. Finding your second part is the important moment because only this psychological sympathy can prevent you from transforming your love into lust.
What is Lust?
Lust, in fact, is the opposite system. It is based on strong emotional reactions and powerful sexual desire, which is controlled by will-to-power. Everyone has their own ego, which involves them in battles for power (not only in the political sense but also in everyday family life.) We see various movies and ads when men and women fight to control the place in the house—either near the TV or in the kitchen.
Lust deals with power and will motivations, as when you want to dominate and control your partner, you subconsciously become the victim of your lust. Lust does know the logical categories, and it is volcanic and uncontrolled. You perceive your partner as an object that can be used for sex or other functions. Anyway, suppose you (perhaps sometimes it seems to be so) have an extraordinary love feeling. In that case, it does not mean that you have real love based on understanding, fidelity, and psychological sympathy.
Overwhelming love becomes a destroying power that neglects all attempts to understand your second part. Sexual motivations can also be very strong, but the desire to have sex cannot be compared to the real desire to be loved. Being loved means love for your second part too. It is a harmonic and two-faced reality with the same rules for two sides. When you think that she or he is just an object for manipulation in your hands, then you demonstrate the behavior of lust.
Lust is a spontaneous desire without any future perspectives. It can happen in a second and result in serious mistakes that can ruin the family life. Love is the philosophy of heart and lust is just its physical ability or the potential measure of human emotional intelligence. To conclude, love is a long-distance process involving emotions, cognitive systems, and moral values. Love’s main basements can be explained as understanding, fidelity, and psychological sympathy.
On the other hand, lust is an up-to-the-moment emotional act that neglects moral categories. Lust is controlled by power and will, with no moral borders. It demonstrates the human ability to control and get satisfaction. In this way, your partner becomes just an object for manipulation. Family life can never be built on lust, but love is essential.