Why Are First Dates So Hard?

The first date is not just an exciting journey but also full of inner stress. It can sometimes feel more like torment. It could be harmful and make your mind suffer. Why? Psychologists provide several answers that we are going to analyse in this article.

Your first date… You must be in touch with the new person and his or her individuality, experience, and lifestyle. Some like oranges, and some prefer apples…; you only need to be loved. Just imagine: you’ve been living for a while in a comfortable apartment, and then, one day, you are requested to move. You see a whole new dimension, new furniture, an old-fashioned style of wallpaper, and another atmosphere from previous people. You have to become accustomed to new circumstances. But for this reason, you need to change your mind first. Only after this can you remodel this new place to adapt to your individuality.


What to say on a first date?

What to say on a first date is a big psychological problem. You are like a key, and you need to unlock another person’s heart. The problem is that from the first look, you may feel anxiety and the unwillingness to adjust to a new way of life. You need to hear his or her story, smile, and say, “Yes, really amazing!” How awe-inspiring!’ You must nod your head and agree with what your partner is saying. This makes your soul suffer. Our individuality (self) is not an empty new bag that can absorb anything new. So when you change your mind and share your ideas, you change the size of your bag. And it can be excruciating at times. Your first date is like a marathon.

What To Do on A First Date?

The second reason is that you need to figure out what to do on a first date, as you do not know your partner’s individuality. Everyone has his or her personality. You cannot visit the opera wearing jeans. Of course, I know that someone might say, ‘Really?’

First, dating becomes a nightmare, as some of your friends and relatives have already experienced the negative afterglow of a similar event. Of course, each person has fears and sorrows, as there is no such thing as an ideal person in our world. Dating may make you feel naked with your subtle psychic problems that have been yours for many years. Not to convert dating into a catastrophe, you must be confident in your actions and thoughts. Say, ‘I am the best,” and believe in yourself (mental therapy is OK this time). On the other hand, try to be sensitive and attentive to your new partner, who, for sure, has the same problems as you.


Most common fears that may lead to A disaster:

‘I am not attractive anymore.’

This makes you feel unconfident. You do not believe in your natural beauty and the magic of your appearance or smile. Just believe that when you smile, you always radiate energy that attracts people. Just smile, and this will make you believe in your fire. According to Lady Dentist Anchorage, when a person sees someone they’re attracted to smiling, it stimulates their orbitofrontal cortex (the part of the brain associated with sensory rewards.) In other words, it makes them want to approach you so they can keep being rewarded with smiles.

‘I am not capable of loving.’

Everyone is born in love. Love is an essential matter in this world. So your mind and soul are structured for love. Do not panic if you have had a negative experience in the past. All wounds can be recovered, and love comes after that.

‘I am too old.’

This happens. We all become older when the time comes. But love can appear at every age. Older people are like good wine and old friends. Age is just a number and has absolutely no effect on your ability to meet someone.

‘I do not know how to do this dating thing.’

Nobody knows. Dating is a runaway process; you cannot mold it. Dating initiates new energy in your life. Just respond to these impulses and do not try to control dating rationally. Love is beyond the mind.

‘I have no time.’

We live in great haste. We never have time to stop for a while and make a new change. Hurry, hurry, and hurry is a good motto for our times. But if you want to share your life and find a partner who will be your friend, say stop, postpone this haste and aridity. Dating is much more important than time spent in haste.

‘My job is too demanding.’

Family life absorbs all our time. But your first date will help you to understand whether you are ready for a serious relationship with your partner or to even think about starting a family life and especially to have children. Family is also very demanding. Dating is just the first step. Work, work, work if you want to spend your final days alone! But life demands love and family, an atmosphere of harmony and understanding, and not only hours spent from the monitor up to noon in your office.

‘I have trouble meeting people.’

A new face is a new experience. And a new experience can result in a new problem. Do not panic in this case. Each day you meet people in the supermarket or on public transport. Yes, this meeting is like a glance. But you do not have to panic because if you feel any interest from the opposite side on your date, dating will become a feast with lots of fun and enigmatic transformations. And oppositions are neglected in one unity.

‘I never trust anyone.’

Nowadays, it is too difficult to find someone you can trust. We live in a cynical and unfair world. The media showers us with hundreds of stories about corruption and violence. How can you trust? Pay attention to the fact that a human being is a social being. We need someone to rely on; we need people around us. Love will open your heart automatically. Someone else could help you release your stress and pain.

The fear of loss is always greater than the desire for gain. Remember this phrase when you are about to turn and head the other way. If you don’t ask for the date, it will never happen. In short, when you do not ask, you tell yourself NO.

Our fears come from negative emotions. Dating must be the first step to paradise. As you like it…

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